Things I Learned In The Year Before 30 (or How I Turned 73 Before 30)

I started writing this in March. I just kept a note on my phone and would take a few minutes to write out a new paragraph as things hit me. I was curious how long the note would get, and wondered if I would hit 30 and could title this a cheesy "30 things about being 30" but I only got to seven (thank God). But these seven are things I've been stewing and pondering and keeping close for the past eight months.

1. The older I get, the more I want to move into the mountains, miles away from everyone, with two rooms overflowing with books, my husband playing guitar on our screened-in porch as it rains, and no cell phone service. I say this as I sit on our swing on our deck, listening to two different neighbors’ dogs bark until they’re hoarse.

2. I learned that when it rains, my 29-year-old husband’s leg bones literally ache and my lower back hurts. We can now tell you when it’s about to rain because our bodies have become a barometer.

3. I learned just how ridiculous I’m willing to look when I go out in public. Makeup is basically a thing of the past, washing my hair is becoming a luxury (meaning it only happens 2-3 times a week), and as long as clothes are comfy, I really don’t care if they have flamingos dancing (yes these are pants I own) or a cat saying Meowy Christmas (yes this is another shirt I own, which I wear all times of the year).

4. I can no longer tell you how old people are by looking at them. I regularly say things like “Was that server 12 years old?” or “I think that middle schooler is flying the plane” when in reality the server was 19 and the pilot was 24. I think back to when I was a kid and had babysitters who were 17 and I thought they had lived so much life and were practically ancient and would I ever be that old? Now I say things like “42 is the new 25” and mean it because I'm now closer to 40 than I am 18.

5. I learned to get excited about saving money and really what it means to save money. This means that I clip coupons and constantly talk about how expensive Starbucks is, yes, but it also means I put a percentage of my paycheck every month into savings, and I put it there for a specific reason. I think about things we want to do with our house in six months and in five years, or I think about a vacation I want to take, or I think about how a tree could fall on our roof and we will need money to pay for that. I’m intentional with my savings and I’m not just putting money into a savings account because I’m “supposed” to, I do it because I really really want to.

6. I learned to listen to my body when it comes to food, and I learned how to do this without quote unquote dieting. Listen, I’m still fat and I still love Taco Bell, but I also am genuinely loving learning to feed my body kindly and properly. I know what certain foods will make me feel like, which helps me make a decision when I’m at a restaurant. I have adjusted and made big lifestyle changes based on how certain foods affect my body, and I strive 80% of the time to eat in a way that is helping my body, not hurting it. I learned that the 80-20 rule is what works for me mentally and physically, and I can back this up in a discussion about it.

7. I’m learning that age changes a lot about friendships. As cheesy as it sounds, I’m learning that the older you get, the more you value quality time with your friends. I’m seeing that busyness in life is just a reality, and that you have to carve out time to spend with your friends, not fit them in when it’s convenient. Truthfully, I’m learning that having friendships - real, meaningful friendships - is not convenient. But it’s worth it. My best friends and I no longer live in the same city, but I’m learning that doesn’t matter. We can still be best friends if we both agree to carve out time and work on our relationship. For me, true and deep friendships haven’t “just happened” since college. I’ve had to grow and cultivate them, putting other things aside to spend real time with a friend. It’s a lesson I know I’ll keep learning the older I get, but it’s nice to see my friends who are also my age learning the same things. I’m also learning that five or six years in a friendship when you’re in your twenties and early thirties can make a difference, just because of the differences in values. One is not necessarily better than the other, it’s just different and different stages of life. So I’m also learning to give grace to my friends who are both older and younger than me, and remember that they’re at a different level than me. That doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, it just means we may approach the friendship slightly different.